After earning her law degree, Irons dedicated her life and career to changing that reality. She helped draft portions of the Americans with Disabilities Act, advocated for legislation expanding mental health insurance coverage, and was arrested 37 times while protesting for accessible public transportation and other disability rights.

While Irons was building a reputation as an advocate, she also found another avenue for creating change — music.

In 1989, Rutstein and her band, disappear fear, released their second album, “Deep Soul Diver.” A glowing review of the album in the Knoxville News Sentinel caught the attention of Irons, who was living in Atlanta at the time. She attended one of the band’s shows and quickly became a devoted fan.

After the performance, Irons purchased an entire box of the band’s albums and introduced Rutstein’s music to her friends throughout Atlanta.

“I instantly fell in love with her,” said Rutstein, whose 2008 wedding to Irons was officiated by Rabbi Elizabeth Bolton, who at that time as the spiritual leader of Congregation Beit Tikvah of North Roland Park.

Eventually, Irons became disappear fear’s manager, handling many of the band’s administrative responsibilities and finding opportunities for the group to perform in places where their message of equality and acceptance could make an impact.

As Rutstein’s career grew and her touring schedule expanded around the world, so did Irons’ activism. She helped organize Pride events across the country, bringing her same focus on accessibility and inclusion to the LGBTQ+ community. At one point, she helped coordinate 27 Pride events in a single summer, using each event as an opportunity to push for greater accessibility and inclusion.

Irons ensured that stages included ramps for wheelchair accessibility, and she became one of the first concert organizers to bring American Sign Language interpreters onto Pride stages. She also incorporated recycling programs into events. 

In addition, Irons served as an ambassador for gay rights during President Bill Clinton’s administration and helped organize the first Lesbian Inaugural Ball. 

When Rutstein’s sister, Cindy, stepped away from the band, Irons became an even more important part of the disappear fear enterprise.

“I was like a lost puppy,” said Rutstein about her sister’s departure. Irons helped guide her forward, she said.

But in March of 2024, Irons began experiencing severe headaches. She and Rutstein initially believed they were connected to a previous head injury.

But the headaches persisted, and her symptoms were misdiagnosed as long-term COVID, lupus and rheumatoid arthritis.

The couple scheduled further testing, but the process was complicated by an insurance matter. The insurance company did not approve a full scan that included her head that summer, instead approving a procedure stopping at her neck. Had a full cranial scan been permitted, doctors could have detected the tumor three months sooner, said Rutstein.

That October, Irons was rushed to an emergency room, where doctors performed an MRI and discovered a golf ball-sized tumor in the right frontal lobe of her brain. Within days, she was transferred to the University of Maryland Medical Center, where she underwent her first brain surgery.

Since her diagnosis of glioblastoma, she has undergone two brain surgeries, 30 rounds of photon radiation and 42 rounds of oral chemotherapy. 

Still, more than 18 months after doctors first told her she would be lucky to survive beyond a year, Irons is still here fighting.

For Rutstein, “Concert 4 Terry” is about celebrating a woman whose impact can be measured by the people now rallying around her.

Friends and family from North Carolina plan to attend, while others are traveling from Texas, New York and California. Others are even making the journey from Germany, where Rutstein tours each spring.

The evening will also feature a silent auction, including a guitar signed by the Indigo Girls and a bottle of wine donated by Pink, with proceeds going toward Irons’ care.