disappear fear
(1994)

1 - Washington Work Song (words and music Sonia Rutstein copyright 1992 BMI)

There's blood on the sidewalk
From someone I don't know
I step around it
So I won't get it on my shoe

On my way to work in Washington
On my way to work in Washington
On my way to work in Washington, DC

My name is America, but I pronounced it George
Some people think I'm rich
But I am mostly poor
And I cover it up to get you to fight in my war

The truth is
I am my own enemy
But I'll buy anything
You advertise on TV

On my way to work in Washington
On my way to work in Washington
On my way to work in Washington, DC

Gotta make it look good
Gotta make it look good
Gotta make it look good

Every Friday, Karen and Katy
Go to take care of babies with aids
Who were born like their mothers
Addicted to crack

Drinking their bottles
Lying on their backs
Just like their fathers
Mom ain't coming back

On my way to work in Washington
On my way to work in Washington
On my way to work in Washington, DC

Gotta make it look good
Gotta make it look good
Gotta make it look good

Gotta make it look good
Gotta make it look good
Gotta make it look good

There's blood on the sidewalk
From someone I might know
Should I step around it
So I won't get it on my soul

On my way to work in Washington
On my way to work in Washington
On my way to work in Washington, DC

Gotta make it look good
Gotta make it look good
Gotta make it look good

 

2 - Who's So Scared

Once riding in old Baltimore, head filled, heart filled with glee
I saw a Baltimorean, keep looking straight at me
I was eight and very small and he was no whit bigger
And so I smiled but he poked out his tongue and called me a nigga

I saw the whole of Baltimore
From May until December
Of all the things that happened there
That's all that I remember

Who's so scared
Who's so scared
Who's so scared
Who's so scared

When I was fourteen I took a bus to San Francisco
I was full of hope and joy, till this girl called me a boy
But I was already on my way so frightened to be gay
Just like in 1942, the world screaming
"Something's wrong with you, Jew"

Who's so scared
Who's so scared
Who's so scared
Who's so scared

But what I discover
Lover after lover
There's nothing wrong with me
That's just a lie by society

So I start looking at the world, we have
And while it's not completely bad
There's a lot of room for improvement
People of color and the gay movement

Who's so scared
Who's so scared
Who's so scared
Who's so scared

Once riding in old Baltimore, head filled, heart filled with glee
I saw a Baltimorean, keep looking straight at me
When I was eight and very small and he was no whit bigger
And so I smiled but he poked out his tongue and called me a nigga

I saw the whole of Baltimore
From May until December
Of all the things that happened there
That's all that I remember

Won't you explain to me that pain of your life?
Won't you explain to me that pain of your life?
Won't you explain to me that pain of your life
Of your life?

Of your life

 

3 - Priceless

Gonna tell you now like I told my friends
In case you haven't heard I'm one of the

Rings on fingers, dogs on clouds
Loving you and feeling proud
I can't pretend that all is gold
When only half the story's told

I feel the calling of dawn
And I may be wrong, but

There's blood on the paper the president has signed
How can he go plan a war and then sleep so fine

Rings on fingers, dogs on clouds
Loving you and feeling proud
I can't pretend that all is gold
When only half the story's told

I feel the calling of the dawn
And I may be wrong but
I gotta know if you're gonna be my partner
I gotta know if you're gonna make it hard
I put out my hand
It's starting to shake
My love's on the line
I fear my heart break
Can you buy your way out of this kiss
It's priceless



4 - Fix My Life

Fix my life
With things I like
See me dance
In your light

Last July it was raining hard
I was cold I was wet I walked into the bar
There you stood
With your t-shirt torn
And your ripped up jeans
What a way to be born
And the ice in my glass
Just like me
Melted, like
Rain rolled over and out to sea
And we ran to my truck
Out of breath, full of luck
And there was something different about the way
That it felt when we touched
Going all through me
And the look in your eye
Seemed to say

Fix my life
With things I like
See me dance
In your lightThat was back in 1987
When love was free
And life was heaven, it was the coldest day in February
We drove down to the cemetery
You said it was a fine day for a funeral
But I couldn't see through
Your cool black case of HIV
Attacking our entire society
Condoms become a way of life
Without it, man
Your dick's a knife
I said it, I said it
Believe it, I mean it

Hearts beating in the hall - laughing at it all
Loving is the key to the future
Hearts beating in the hall - laughing at it all
Nothing is the key to the future

Now, I'm the ghost in everyone
I am your daughter
I am your son
I'm the painter who paints no more
Your doctor, your lover
The boy next door
That Ron ignored and George abandoned
I'm the queer and voiceless champion
And I live inside you
I live inside you

Fix my life
With things I like
See me dance
In your light

 

5 - Be The One

Somewhere in the afternoon
Before the call of early june
The earth stood still
And we kissed
It was outside so everyone
Could see and judge but we decided
This was more

I could be the one

I can reach around and run my hand
Across an old scar
To remind myself
Of one day
I know what it's like to give
Your heart and soul to someone
And have them throw it away

I could be the one

Yo pensando de ti
Toda el dia
Esta es bueno
Que tengo
La musica
Porque
Si no lo tengo
Yo muero

I could be the one

 

6 - Is There Anybody Here (Phil Ochs)

 

7 - Moment Of Glory (words and music Sonia Rutstein copyright 1991 BMI)

Nobody's gonna tell me what to feel...

Me and Lisa bought a motorcycle
Strapped my guitar next to her knapsack
She's my lover, she used to be my rival
And I don't want my money back

What I know is I don't know
When I'm sure it's only half the story
What I want is a house on a hill
But I'll settle for a moment of glory

Me and Lisa going down to the ocean
Where the hot sand burns our barefoot skin
She's puttin' on sunscreen 'cause the hole in the ozone's
The same exact size as the American sin

What I know is I don't know...

One man's church is another man's jail
One man's feet go where another man's fall
Tonight I'll throw my hands across steel
Nobody's gonna tell me what I feel

We're on a long ride under the big sky
Lisa's hair is blowing through her baseball cap
I'm holding on tight, gonna ride all night
By dawn I'll be asleep inside her Cadillac

 

8 - Play The Music

Could it be, yes it could, play the music that feel so good
Like a pie in the sky
Eat it up for the perfect high
How many of us are in this room
I dare you to look into my eyes
How many of us can get the nowness of this tune
Just enough to enlighten all the skies

Some say you should leave it
But I say unto you you should believe it
And actually this is exactly as you would
Come on play me the music that feels good

All of us are in this marathon
Sometimes I see myself running a mile behind
Then some kind stranger allow me to find
All the time the illusion was in my mind

Some say you should leave it?

Why do you stay
So long away
So long away

 

9 - Dance All Night

I know a way to make you dance all night
With me

I gotta go go go to the right
I gotta go go go to the left
I gotta go go go everywhere my baby tells me to

I know a way to make you get an 'a' at school
You gotta open that big bad book
And take one big long look
'Cause that's your future staring back at you

I love dancing - that's no problem
When we're moving - it's so positive
I know a way to make you kiss me
All night long

I gotta go go go to the right
I gotta go go go to the left
I gotta go go go everywhere my baby tells me to

I love dancing - that's no problem
When we're moving - it's so positive

 

10 - The Missing Song

Most of my family lives in Maryland
That's where I was raised and went to school
Now I'm one hour from Baltimore
And two thousand miles from you

I like the way the leaves smell in the autumn
The way the trees are set into the hills
I like drinking coffee with you in the morning
Watching the steam rise, sitting on a window sill

Then you came and now my world is
Tipping over
This is nice but it's so dark inside
This is nowhere

How am I to measure these feelings
What the hell is one heartbeat away
The distance doesn't care, it's completely unaware
Only the pounding of my heart is here to stay

Then you came and now my world is
Tipping over
This is nice but it's so dark inside
This is nowhere

 

11 - Kiss The World

Last night it was a Motel Six
Tonight it's a Hyatt on the seventy sixth floor
We're all coming from a tiny town
But I got a plan, I thought we'd make a rock n' roll band
See the planet, take a bite of the land

Ooo baby it's okay
There's a rumor going round this town
Ooo baby it's all right
I'm gonna sleep by myself tonight
Kiss the world good night

We just hit mile three thousand thirty three
We're heading west on interstate eighty, 'cause
Somebody said this planet is round
Nevada is green and it's the middle of June
I don't know their names but they were singing our tunes
Brussels Sprouts is the only cat putting me down

Ooo baby it's okay...

Idols crumble at my feet
I'm strong because their lies are weak
The muzak in the mall is giving me the creeps
The hotel's full of TV's
Thick with sick macho social disease
The holy ghosts of hosts is just so fake
And I swear, if I ever make it there
I'm gonna love out loud till my heart breaks
Till my heart breaks

I'm gonna kiss the world good night...